Newspaper Columns by Bishop Paul V. Marshall
Name tags create friendly space
By Bishop Paul V. Marshal
May, 2005I feel naked. Sitting at an international bishops' meeting, I find that I left my name tag in my room. It's embarrassing. It feels rude.
This is a change for me. I once hated name tags. They seemed invasive and,
well, tacky. Increasingly, however, parish churches have name tags both for
regular members and for visitors. They help when I visit parishes: people are touched more directly when addressed by name.
As an "introverted sensor," I store up impressions and memories of interactions with each person I meet. Though my brain seldom has a name as
the primary way of identifying people, I never forget faces and interactions. The data bit for the name gets filled last and requires some repetition.
This is frustrating in my line of work. Add to that the slightly neurotic fear of getting somebody's name wrong. Being in three or four different churches each week, then, can be stressful. I have learned all of the ways of speaking to someone cordially without saying the name. I cannot believe, however, that anybody is fooled.
When I arrive at a church that uses name tags, my breathing becomes easier.
Even at diocesan meetings where I am the identified leader, I wear a tag to
encourage the practice.
We like to know people's names. In turn, people like to be called by name.
In parts of Africa, even if you have just been introduced by name, you begin
your talk by saying your name-so that the hearer can say it back. Naming
one's self and hearing listeners repeat one's name creates friendly space in
which discourse is truly communal. Conversation and community begin in
mutual recognition.
Knowing and being known by name is a mark of community in our culture. As
churches grow, the tags help people to remember the importance of identity.
I was ambivalent about the TV series, "Cheers," but I loved the title song about a place "where everybody knows your name." To a name-forgetter whose own countenance is not particularly memorable, that sounds a bit like heaven.
The Hebrew and Christian scriptures are rich with references to naming,
knowing by name, and being known by name. Jesus knows his sheep by name. They recognize his voice. Christians are never baptized as groups, but as individuals and by their first names. Life can deprive me of a great deal;
in relationship to Christ, however, I always have a name.
I was walking with a friend on the streets of Allentown. A homeless person
approached us. A kind of rant began, a mixture of desperation and need with
an edge that might frighten some.
At the first pause, my friend interjected, "I'm Father X; what's your name?"
Everything changed. Tempo, volume, and tension in the conversation gentled,
and we were able to be of some help to that person.
A street minister in South Bethlehem makes a big part of his ministry simply
knowing people in the neighborhood and saying a few words in their language.
People feel differently about themselves and their lives when someone who
does not have to do it cares about their identity.
Everybody is going to have different skills at remembering names. We can
probably all work a bit harder at it. In the meantime, nametags will help.
Whatever our skills in that department, however, expressing interest in who
people are is something each of us can do. It is part of the shepherd Jesus'
insight that belonging often precedes believing.Return to the index of Bishop Paul's columns for the secular press
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